The Past is the Past

Posted on March 24, 2010


There may be something(s) that folks have done years or even decades previously that the person cannot do anything to reverse the circumstances. Granted, simple conversation may trigger strong emotions, unbeknownst to others. However, if a topic is obviously hard for someone to discuss and one is not in a clinical setting, perhaps it should be dropped. If one hasn’t done it, whatever it is, one probably just doesn’t know everything there is to know about the experience.

Folks may become wary when strangers, acquaintances, or friends approach them with a sensitive topic. I get uncomfortable with some topics, whether pertaining to me or someone else; we all do. Unwittingly, perhaps, the person who is adamant or feels strongly about an issue will not let go of the topic and holds on for dear life trying to persuade. This method is not going to persuade the listener, I betcha. I hear about friends whose character have been attacked because of something that occurred years or decades in their past. Maybe something was brought up and they don’t want to talk about it.

It’s nice to have a friend when a topic just needs to be brought up and to have someone who will actively listen. However, freaking on a person about ‘shoulda, woulda, couldas’ will simply rehash a sensitive topic for a person and re-open a wound. Chances are, the ‘shoulda, woulda, couldas’ have already been said and felt. A conversation is one thing but harping is another animal.

People who have left something in the past should be allowed to leave it in the past. I’d think that if the person who has given the issue to God has truly left it in His hands and won’t pick it back up, they should be allowed to chalk it up to experience. If the person doesn’t believe in God, per se, but has reconciled the issue successfully in a clinical sense, I’d think that’s between them and their heart.

If someone has done something that is against your (not necessarily the reader) beliefs, I encourage praying for them or whatever one choses to do to support fellow human beings. I think the main thing I am getting at is keeping someone in a conversation that they don’t want to be in for very personal reasons is, in my book, emotional abuse.